Koran Burning Debacle

These days, there has been much talk of Reverend Terry Jones's choice to burn the Koran on the anniversary of the September 11 attacks. Many have begged him to rethink this alleged pointless act. "Think of the repercussions!" they sob. "There will be a cry for blood. Innocent people will be killed as a result."

Herein lies the key to the Sane Solution. There is a way to make everyone happy. The Reverend Terry Jones (not to be confused with Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones) wants to stir up the radicals. But if you're going to do it, do it right. Don't do anything half-assed. My call to Terry is to be a complete ass.

You're not going to stir up many extremists in Florida. When you want to stir up hornets, you have to go to their nest to throw your rocks. That is why the Sane Solution is this: President Obama should fly the Reverend Jones to Afghanistan. Drop him off in a town that is an extremist stronghold, and let him burn the Koran there. Not only will burning the Koran on Afghan soil be more provocative, there will also be more copies of the Koran available to burn. We have met - nay, exceeded - the goals of the Reverend Terry Jones.

The extremists, as a result, will desire revenge on the Reverend Terry Jones. Our Sane Solution now makes that not only possible, but also very convenient. There will be no need for false passport and false pretenses to get into the US. There will be no need for long hours of English study. He will be there among them, ripe for the picking. They can kill him as quickly or as slowly as they desire. We provide the object of their wrath, they supply the wrath. And that simply, we have met the goals of the radicals.

The final group of people this Sane Solution must please are those who fear the spilling of innocent blood. By allowing the extremists to have their way with the Reverend Terry Jones, we allow them to exact their revenge. There is no longer the need to kill innocent victims. The only one who will come to harm is the Reverend Terry Jones. And the one thing that we can all agree on is that his departure from this world would be no great loss.

This is the Sane Solution.